We ♥ I am Staggered
Now it’s not just us girls who love talking about weddings, sharing our ideas, concerns, hopes and fears. The testosterone fueled gang over at I am Staggered are doing it for the men out there and write laugh out loud blogs which your man/brother/dad (and occasionally, yourself) will find utterly brilliant.
So, here is an extract from the I am Staggered site for you to enjoy (and forward on to that man in your life) and get them hooked on what is a highly addictive, witty and totally unique piece of website genius:
Groomsmen and ushers: The Basics
Despite featuring in our series covering the ‘forgotten men’ of the wedding, the groomsman or usher (we’re using the term interchangeably in this article) operates in a role that hovers near the importance of the best man, so if you’re fretting about being an usher rather than a best man, don’t.
The groomsman or usher then is a role with more than a little to it, so if you’re up for the job and giving this a cursory glance, it’s time to pull up your socks and brush up on how fulfill the role as best as possible.
First: who to choose as a groomsman/usher?
The role of the groomsmen is usually undertaken by a close friend or family member who the couple want to make a visible part of the ceremony. Of course, this is naturally an honour, but a certain expense accompanies this role that must be acknowledged before the groomsman accepts the position, such as the stag do which he is expected to play an active part in. When telling your groomsmen be very clear if you’re expecting them to contribute towards suits, etc – as they may find it difficult to afford and you’ll end up with a grumbling groomsman.
From a couple’s perspective, the best friends to choose as groomsmen are reliable and non disruptive characters. If in doubt, factor in how well you think your mates would do as a redcoat at Butlins. They’ll be guiding guests to their seats, cushioning the bottoms of the young and the elderly, offering directions to the church, checking everyone is OK at the reception, dealing with any wayward relatives acting inappropriately, and so on. You need a safe pair of hands to do that for you.
Standard groomsman/usher responsibilities:
Getting the groom to the church on time
Dishing out advice and dealing with last minute jitters
Looking good and making sure the groom looks good
Ordering and picking up the suits for himself and the rest of the groomsmen
Decorating the wedding car (check with the driver first before smearing it with shaving cream) and assists in shifting the pile of wedding gifts at the end of the day
Offer a pity dance with the single female attendants at the reception disco
Act as a steward at the ceremony, welcoming people, helping them to park, giving them the order of service, helping people to their seats
How can you be a great groomsman?
An average groomsman will do as he’s told (usually by the bride, the groom or one of the mothers) and perform his given functions with good grace. Then he’ll take his engraved whatever and forget about it.
A bad groomsman will do all of the above but act like it’s a real chore and say things like, “what did your last slave die of?” when they’re asked to help.
The excellent groomsman takes the bull by the horns on the big day and in the time running up to the ceremony. He would email/call with plenty of time in advance of the wedding day to ask how they can help in the run up.There may be nothing to do, but even knowing that you’re on hand should they need fetching/carrying/driving/lifting/putting sort of work will be a massive help to the stressed-out organisers.
Check in with your groom too. He may be fine and have everything in hand, but he also might be shitting himself sideways and need a good friend to listen.
Here’s five things you can check on:
Has he sorted the suits. Could you pick them up? Drop them off after the ceremony?
Is he ok with his wedding speech? Does he want you to listen to/read it
Transport sorted? Has he sorted lifts to/from the airport for the honeymoon?
Could you get their wedding gifts delivered to yours, so they won’t have presents sitting in an empty house?
How is he generally? Happy? Scared? Does he need an evening away from the wedding craziness to drink beer/arm-wrestle strangers?
As a bonus, why not check in with the best man too and make sure he’s doing ok with all the above too.
Just checking these things can be a massive help and really add to your mate’s enjoyment of his wedding day, so bung him a quick email right now…
What do you get from the deal?
The advantages are, of course, the responsibility being an honour. And the hard work is usually paid off in a gift on the groom and bride’s part. Also, if you’re in luck, that aforementioned pity dance will be less than hard work as you’re introduced to the bridesmaids on an individual basis…
See what we mean? Your groom to be, best man, usher or even dad will be hooked after their first dose …. huge thanks to Andrew at I am Staggered for this piece.